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A Burning Question

  • (The fire alarm has gone off. The fire department have arrived and the whole building is evacuated. A customer attempts to enter.)
  • Me: Excuse me, the store is closed due to a fire.
  • Customer: I only want a couple of things.
  • Me: There is a fire. We have evacuated the building. *points to scared looking customers and employees*
  • Customer: I only want bread and milk.
  • Me: The building is on fire! I’m sorry, sir, but we will be unlikely to serve anyone until tomorrow!
  • Customer: Oh! Does that mean the fresh vegetables are on offer? *tries to push past me*
  • Me: No. Nothing is on offer at all because the store is closed.
  • (At this point more customers are arriving.)
  • Customer #2: So we can’t even pay? Those people got sent home with their stuff for free! *points to customers loading their cars with stolen goods*
  • Me: No, they have stolen those things. They have been caught on camera, and they will be prosecuted when the emergency is over.
  • Customer #2: Oh, so I can get my stuff for free?
  • Original customer: Does that mean it’s free if we eat it all tonight?
  • Me: No. Wait…what?
via thedailywhat

via thedailywhat

So, This Exists: Hello Kitty Chainsaw. (via thedailywhat: hellokittyhell)

So, This Exists: Hello Kitty Chainsaw.

(via thedailywhat: hellokittyhell)

“Let’s see, so the digital revolution led us all to this: a gigantic, commercial, high school reunion/mall filthy with insipid tabloid trivia, populated by perpetually distracted, texting, tweeting demi-humans. Yes, the information age truly is every bit as glorious and special as everyone predicted it would be!”

“Digital Nation”: What has the Internet done to us?

(via bluenemesis)